He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Your penis caused this!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
