I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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