he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
