say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Two words: blizzard sex
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
