Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
