I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
