It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
