Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
