Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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