just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
