Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
