Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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