i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
