My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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