North Korea, Best Korea!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
