he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
