I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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