I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
