Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
