I got chris browned last night
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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