You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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