Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.

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(214): View more from Texas

just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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(954): View more from Florida

Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.

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(315): View more from New York

idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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(785): View more from Kansas

i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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(404): View more from Georgia

just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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(813): View more from Florida

I have bits of ceiling fan all over now

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.

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