i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize