oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
