1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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