did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
