Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
