im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize