I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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