Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
