ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..