How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?