hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
