So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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