No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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