I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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