when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
