I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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