I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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