Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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