i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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