how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
