and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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