At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
