Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
