Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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