i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
