i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
