If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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