i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
