is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
