I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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