Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
