you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
