Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Blood and glitter go together right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
