hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
