you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I could make wine with my vomit
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
