Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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