My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
