it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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