I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
