I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
