I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
