Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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